Pls God, help me to rediscover my focus this semester. Lost so much drive and passion and I'm desperately trying to find motivation to do anything. Always distracted with all the small and unimportant issues when I should be concentrating and looking at the bigger picture.

Life is always going up and down, I wish it would be abit more consistent. Well, thats probably cause I'm not strong enough, its too ez to shake my faith when life goes downhill. Same old story..same old story...

I need to suppress my cynical side..

The cynicism that was imbued in me as I grew up, because we live in an imperfect world.

If I concentrate, I'm 16 for a moment, and I'm happy, no worries, I'm relaxed and uninhibited. But I'm no longer 16 and it always hits me in the head, to leave my stupid habits behind. Really pisses me off that I'm still struggling with smoking..
quit..quit..quit..sometimes in my room just feel like hitting my head against the wall.

I'm so typically Singaporean..concerned with all the material things, trying to draw meaning out of them..but I can't..because there isn't any meaning in them. No meaning in my computer...no meaning in my illusions of granduer and no meaning in my stupid car...

Something is missing..something is missing...

And its something that no amount of money in the world can buy...

Jehovah Jireh..my provider..I need your grace to make this life suffice...